We're facebook friends in real life
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
