I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i dont even know how to be here
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
