I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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