yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
