By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
