I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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