oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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