I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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