I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
