we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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