So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
