all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
