Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
The power of my boobs compel you
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
