It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
