I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
