My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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