Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
