Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
this just has baby written all over it
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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