She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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