There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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