Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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