I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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