she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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