I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
