I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
