The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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