hotel room ftw
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
the condom got lost in my hair
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
