If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
