i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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