If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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