Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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