4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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