Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
i now understand why vodka
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
