saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
