if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
