So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
