so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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