i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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