Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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