hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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