Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
