things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
home. puking in laundry basket.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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