I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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