Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
