You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
And then my night got REAL pukey
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
