He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
