Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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