i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
