This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
