One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
